Saying “No” to people was always hard to me, because I am so thoughtful about people and when I say no to their requests/needs, I feel like I am deceiving them. But I passed over this feeling to do the following:
- Saying “No” does not mean that you are disagreeable or a nasty person. it can actually prove that you are tuned in.
- Ignoring requests will diminish your value and relationships faster than saying “No” more often than you say “Yes.” It appears that you are not listening which is clearly disrespectful.
- Four simple steps to asses requests and say “No” when it’s appropriate:
- Hear it:
- Your responsibility to get to heart if the request and why it matters.
- Hear it:
- Goal First:
- If you are going to say “No”, you should assess the request
- A goal first approach is about defining your vision, because if you do not have a vision you will more likely to accept whatever comes to you as a request.
- Yes or No
- You should respond to requests quickly as they come in.
- You need to quickly analyze them as they are received and allow your “goal first” strategy to guide you.
- Be Transparent:
- Explaining the “why” makes the “what” simple to digest.
- You need to be more than just nice because being nice alone does not help someone see your perspective.
- Tell them why you cannot accept that request and be honest!
- There are some time that you cannot refuse the request because of your hierarchical position ;
- IF your boss asks for something that is difficult, sometimes you will need to say “Yes”. Bu
- But you should also explain that you are working on A, B, and C and would be happy to move something out to get the request done
- Ask for guidance when the priorities are not clear.
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Say no to everything, so you can say yes to the one thing.